Busy, Busy, Busy

Aren't we all? Today is the beginning of my 4th week as a Junior at the University of Illinois. I'm a full-time student working toward my BA in English. I want to write when I'm finished—well, I write now, but I want to write a book.

All of my classes are online but believe me, I have discovered that online classes can be harder and require more work and discipline than campus-based classes. I'm taking Intro to the Discipline which is basically an orientation to upper-level English criticism. This class has really stretched me already. We have been reading and commenting on poetry on the critical level. I'm not so good at this. Then I'm taking a class in The British Victorian Novel. We will be finishing up Jane Eyre this week. This one hasn't been so bad except that the book has over 500 pages! And finally, I'm taking a class in HTML and Web Page Development. That class has been easy so far.

Of course, I still have my husband and family to care for and my church duties to fulfill and . . .

I say all that to say this: we need to rest. I was reading through Genesis 1 and it struck me that God rested. He wasn't tired. He rested to set an example for us. Sadly, most of us do not follow His example and we justify it by pointing out how much we are doing for God. Kinda ironic isn't it?

Our whole culture is spinning wildly 24/7! Electric lights, automobiles, and electronics have freed us from the dark of night. We are shocked when we decide to run to the store at 2 a.m. and find it closed. When I was a kid (back in the day), at 11 p.m. the television went to a test pattern for the night and people went to bed.

I can't fix the whole culture, but I can work on me and mine. For years, we have had "Quiet Time" on Sunday afternoon. My kids have never liked it, but I can tell a difference in their spirit and attitude when they have spent 3 hours in their rooms doing quiet things.

Here's some other things I'm going to work on:

1. Stay off the internet after dinner. This is going to be hard for me, but I need to do it. I find myself checking my class sites, bulletin boards I frequent, and other favorites repeatedly and for no real purpose. I need to quiet myself in the evenings to prepare for sleep. I know I'll sleep better.

2. Take more frequent breaks in my schedule. When I do this, I feel so much more refreshed and ready to tackle the next task.

3. Set aside more time to "be still" and "know that He is God."

I think if I make myself less busy, I'll be more productive.

Another chickie has left the nest

I dropped Marcy off at college in Indiana yesterday. I didn't cry but she did. I had my grandson with me and when she told him goodbye she broke down and sobbed. It was hard.

We adopted Marcy when she was 10. She was the youngest of a sibling group of three we adopted. Jessica was 12 and Jesse was 11. Had we not adopted her, they were going to institutionalize her. Marcy has FAS or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She was born addicted to cocaine and legally drunk. She was an emergency c-section at 30 weeks. She weighed 2 lbs. 3 oz. and her heart stopped twice in the delivery room.

A great deal of prayer and Bible reading and Bible memorization has gone into Marcy in the past 10 years. Her dad and I have shed tears and held on for one of the wildest rides of our lives. But, when she is doing well, she is the sweetest of our children. Mark is really going to miss her because every night, she made his lunch for the next day and at 4:30 every morning, she got up to have coffee with her dad before he went to work.

Going away to college is a BIG victory for her. She has struggled all through school and will probably struggle through college. We chose a college that willingly accepts "marginal" students and works with them. I don't know the exact statistic but I know that at least 75% of people with FAS never live independently. Marcy will always need counsel but she has come so much farther than anyone ever dreamed.

Pray for Marcy.

Suprise! It's Me!

Since I haven't blogged for a while, it's time for an update. I had my doctor's appointment and I'm going to have surgery sometime in October or November. It may sound silly but I'm looking forward to it. I've had endometriosis for 23 years and this should be an end to it!

All else is well with my house. We took a vacation to Texas a few weeks ago to visit my husband's family and attend our home church, Trinity Baptist Church in Arlington. Our other children joined us there and for the first time in almost three years all my children were together. That's us in the picture. The young man in the green shirt is my new son-in-law.

I've started my classes at the University of Illinois Springfield and I have my work cut out for me. I'm a junior working on my BA in English and all my classes are online.

Tomorrow, I will be taking my daughter Marcy to Hyles-Anderson college to begin her freshmen year. My daughter Wendy is already hard at work in her classes towards her nursing degree and hopefully this week, Peggy's books will come and she can start homeschooling her sophomore year in high school.

We're busy I guess but nothing monumental. Truthfully, I like busy because it gives me less time to get in trouble.

Wait, Wait, Wait and Find Out

that I have to wait some more. I went to the doctor today for my post-op visit and to find out when I have an appointment with the specialist. It's been a long week—pain and fever wear on a body after a while.

But, it's going to be a LONGER month because that's how long it is before I can get in to see the specialist—August 30. The Lord really must be working on me to "be still" because that's about all I can do.

I am enjoying many of my friends' blogs but I have to do it through bloglines. For some reason when I try to access blogs directly my browsers (all of them) are freezing up. I can read okay through bloglines but I can't comment. I just wanted my friends to know I was reading and being blessed.

A lesson in patience

My life verse is Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."

This is one of the life lessons I want my children and my grandchildren to learn. Right now, God is working on me to pound it into my heard head. Wait. Wait. Wait.

The family tragedy I mentioned was a child tragedy. One of our daughters decided to abort God's timing and take things into her own hand. She ran off with her boyfriend and eloped. Our hearts were broken. We love them both and pray that God blesses and teaches and trains them in the coming days and that they choose to learn the lessons the easy way and not the hard way.

Now, we are needing to wait on God in the area of my health. My surgical procedure yesterday was unsuccessful. Due to years of endometriosis, by organs aren't where they are supposed to be. My doctor has done hundreds of these procedures and never had the problems he had with me. I am unique. The next step is to move on the the University hospital and see if the doctors there can find an answer. In the meantime, the health problems I am having are limiting my functioning. Ughhh!!
"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." I really need to work on this.

Where Have I Been?

MIA! That's where I've been. We had a family tragedy last week. The stress of which caused my husband to collapse and neccessitated being taken to the hospital by ambulance. He spent 6 hours in the ER where they were able to stabilize him and he was able to come home. He's fine now. A little worse for the wear but fine.

Then—tomorrow, I go in the hospital for an outpatient procedure. I've had some health issues for more than a year and they've tried all kinds of tests to determine the exact problem and the solution but to no avail. So, as a final resort, they are going to view my insides with a camera. This should work.

I don't know how drugged I'll be so I don't know how long until I'm back on the blog but if we can ever get me situated, I'll blog your eyeballs out!

I have 5 more introductions to make

My other 5 children were all adopted when they were older. They ranged in age from 9 to 13.5 the day they walked through our door as our children. I don't have cute baby pictures. In fact, my children don't have baby pictures of themselves. I've seen them cry because they sometimes feel like they've lost their past.

Adopting older children is nothing like having birth children and is even vastly different that adopting a child at birth. There are years of their lives we know not of. There are things that we, as their parents, are blamed for when we didn't even know them yet.

I've thought about it a lot and there is a strong spiritual lesson here. We, the saved, are all adopted into the family of God. As adoptive parents, the number one character quality we have had to display is tenacity. We've had to stick by our kids when the last thing they wanted was for us to exist, let alone be part of thier lives. We do that to God. We get mad and blame Him for messes that were made before we became His children and then we want Him to go away. But He doesn't, does He? He's right there, being patient, working to bring us to a place of understanding or even just acceptance.

I have a whole new respect for how hard that is.


Galatians 4:4-5 "But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law,
To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons."

I took Elisha to the playground today

He pushed me on the merry-go-round. It is really funny because, suffice it to say I'm a padded Nana and he's only 2 1/2. But he pushed his Nana on the merry-go-round. He also dug in the dirt, went down the big slide many, many times, and talked to the "baby bug."

There was a little bity bug in the dirt and he took me by the hand to show me. He squatted down and said, "Hi, baby bug! You wanna get in my hand?" I told him the bug was probably afraid. So he said to the bug, "Don't be scared, baby bug, I be soft!"

I love moments like that. That makes life worth it.

Got out a little bit today

With the new antibiotic I'm on, I'm feeling a little better each day. This morning I went with Wendy & Elisha to Toys R Us and to the Mall. Elisha was so excited in the Thomas section of the toy store! I loved watching him.

At the mall, Wendy bought me the next three Lemony Snicket books. I'm trying to read all 12 before the 13th and final book comes out in October. She said she bought them because I take care of Elisha while she works. Should I tell her that having my grandson with me is my all-time favorite thing, or should I let her continue to think I'm doing her a favor?

I was tired after my outing but I did enjoy getting out of the house.

5 Extraordinary Blessings

Thanks to Tami from Time with Tami for this idea.

1. My unbelievably patient and caring husband. He spent 3 hours last night catching up on the laundry for me since I haven't felt well.

2. The sweet spirit of my 2-year-old grandson. This has been the "Terrific Twos" and not the "Terrible Twos" at all. Out of the blue, he will run up and throw his arms around me and say, "Hi, Nana! Love you!"

3. My minivan. It is such a blessing to me to have a vehicle that I can get in and count on when I turn the key.

4. My daughter who fixed wonderful pork chops and sauteed vegetables last night so I wouldn't have to cook.

5. Insurance! My medicine would have cost me twice as much if we didn't have insurance.

Our first child: Wendy

This is Wendy at one day old.

I am infertile. I cannot carry a baby to term. When we were married, I was using birth control but three months into the marriage, we decided to go ahead and have children. I conceived almost immediately and miscarried six weeks later. Within a year, we discovered that I had endometriosis. After fertility drugs and several surgeries we looked into adoption. The cost was staggering. We knew that we wanted a baby more than anything but we also knew that only God could bring that about.

On August 1, 1985, we moved into a two-bedroom apartment and set up a nursery. Every evening, as a couple we would enter the nursery and pray that God would fill that crib. On Sunday, September 1, 1985, a friend approached me at church. She had just adopted a baby boy and she asked me if we had ever considered adoption. I told her that we had, but the cost was prohibitive. She said, “No, I know a woman who is going to have a baby in October and if I ask her, I think she will let you adopt the baby.” I was stunned. I asked Mark and we asked our friend to go ahead and talk to the birthmother. On September 3, my friend called and told me that the birthmother would be thrilled if we would adopt the child.

I was excited and terrified simultaneously. We scrambled to make arrangements. The first thing we looked for was an attorney to represent us. Did you know that there are many foul-mouthed lawyers out there who will charge you $25 for 15 minutes and then call you a baby-stealer? So back into that little nursery we went. We cried out to God and asked him to lead us to an attorney.

The next service at church, a dear sweet saint of God approached Mark and asked if we had found an attorney and slipped him the card of attorney she knew. This attorney not only understood adoption law, but he had worked for an adoption agency and was a devout Christian. (In fact, shortly after our adoption, he left his legal practice and went to the mission field.) We contacted him and he told us that the retainer was $300. Back to the nursery we went.
Mark was a student in our church’s Bible Institute at the time. The following Wednesday evening, a fellow student invited himself over for a home-cooked meal. There was nothing unusual about that and we enjoyed the fellowship. During the meal, the young man asked if we had gotten a lawyer. He was in business with his dad and began to talk about lawyers. Finally, he asked what the retainer fee on an adoption was. We told him and he pulled a check out of his pocket for $300 and said God had laid the amount on his heart.

There were so many miracles; I have to think hard to remember them all. A church pastored by a friend took up a love offering to help with our expenses and the amount was to the dollar the midwife fee we had to pay.

Now we just had to wait on the baby—and she made us wait. She was almost 2 weeks late. Finally, on October 23, the phone call came. A girl! And she had tons of hair!

Early the next morning, we left to drive the 300 miles to meet our baby. The memory of the emotions as I entered the room and saw that tiny (5 lb. 12 oz.) bundle lying in the cradle is still intense today. I gingerly reached down and picked up the 17-hour-old little girl who would grow up to call me Mom.


Wendy was our only child for 10 years. She and I share a special bond that is inexplicable. In some ways, she is just like her Dad. In other ways, she is just like me. Yet, in so many ways she will always be a mystery because much of who she is was determined before I met her.

I am still awed by the acts of God that led to Wendy’s adoption and the intense love of a woman who knew she could never give this baby the best and in love, gave her to me.

Wendy is in nursing school now. She is almost finished with her prerequisites. She was married young and her husband has left. She also has the most beautiful little boy in the world—my grandson, Elisha.

(The picture on the right, is Wendy at nine months; the day her adoption was finalized.)

I took a quiz and this is what it said

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges. You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions. Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist. Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!). Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others. And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you. You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically. Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas. Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I've Been Tagged!

Wow! I'm it! Whoo Hooo!!! Tori @ A Home Far From Home tagged me so here goes:


5 Things in my Refrigerator:
A 12-pack of Tab
A 12-pack of Mountain Dew
A 12-pack of Coke
A 12-pack of Coke with Lime
A 12-pack of Netea with Lemon
(My girls went crazy at the grocery store where 12-packs were 5 for $10)

5 Things in My Closet:
An empty suitcase
My vaccuum cleaner
My wedding dress
Everyone's winter coats
My new C.J. Banks outfit

5 Things in My Purse:
My checkbook
A picture of Amanda & Marcy's graduation
My PDA
My empty wallet
6 pens

5 Things in My Car:
Stroller
Antifreeze
Jumper Cables
Mark's toolbox
An empty Arby's cup

5 People I am Tagging:
Carolyn over @ at home with Carolyn
Susan @ By Grace
Stephanie @ In Mom's Eyes
Coleen @ Deaf Chicks Shouldn't Sing and Other Sound Advice
Bernice @ Frazledmom's

Introduction: Mark, my best friend and husband

My hero is my spouse, my friend, my lover, my co-worker, and my pastor. Mark is the meekest man I know. He is controlled strength embodied. I don’t know anyone who works harder and loves deeper than he does.

He was born the youngest child of three and only son to a hard-working, middle-class family in Dallas, TX in December of 1959. His grandfather was the pastor of Bellevue Baptist Church and his father the associate pastor. We have a reel-to-reel tape of the service on January 6, 1960 where Mark is introduced and you can hear him exercising his lungs in the background.

When he was five, Mark walked the aisle for salvation and a man prayed with him. This man never dealt with Mark about his sinful condition and Mark never prayed. He rode on that false profession for many years.

When he was a young teenager, due to his grandfather’s failing health and the decline of the inner-city neighborhood, Bellevue Baptist Church closed its doors. Mark began attending another independent Baptist church close to his home. He became very involved singing in the choir, singing special music and as a bus captain on one of the church’s bus routes. The entire time, he was lost and on his way to Hell.

On January 6, 1980, (twenty years to the day after that first service) Mark felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit and accepted Christ as his personal Savior. Two weeks later, Mark surrendered to preach. Two weeks later, we met.

We were friends for six months and then Mark asked me out. We went soulwinning and then went to Red Lobster for dinner. Nineteen days and nineteen dates later, we were engaged. Nine months later, on June 5, 1981 we became husband and wife.

When he was saved, Mark was finishing up his second year of college on a music scholarship. He transferred to a Bible college that fall, and prepared himself for the ministry.

Mark has pastored three churches: Temple Baptist Church in Lufkin, TX; Trinity Independent Baptist Church in Kansas City, MO; and All Seasons Baptist Church in Bettendorf, IA.

Today was fairly uneventful

I like days like that. I'm still not well. I may have to go back to the doctor tomorrow. I wake up okay but by early afternoon, my fever starts climbing again. I have a fibroid and am scheduled for a surgical procedure on July 20 to see if and how it can be removed. My womb is enlarged about 2X but I don't know if any of that has to do with the fever. I have run a fever every day for thirteen days. That's crazy. It usually tops out at about 101° which isn't horrible but it's enough to make me feel pretty sorry.

My daughter and grandson are home and actually have been since Sunday. It is nice to have the home. Peggy is home from camp. She seems to have had a good time and has talked a little bit about the sermons. She is one of those teens that you have to give some time and space before she will talk much.

All in all there wasn't much eventful today. I fixed a really good salad with grilled steak on it for dinner. The fresh veggies felt good in my tummy.

I hope tomorrow to resume posting my introductions.

I'm back! Death's Door Sends Its Regards!

I, nor my husband, can remember me ever being as sick as I was the past week and a half. I'm not sure what was wrong, and I even went to see the doctor and he didn't know either. The doctor did give me some super-charged antibiotic and it's finally working. Whew!


I don't know about you, but I think funny things when I'm sick and this time was particularly interesting. I was lying on the couch coming in and out of a feverish sleep thinking, "When I go to heaven, who's going to vaccuum?" In reality, that would probably be one of the least of my family's worries, but I worried about it.

Now that my fever is broken, my thoughts are more like, "Would my children live godly? Would my grandchildren know my faith?" Those are the things that I live for.

Introductions

I thought I would take a few posts to indroduce the players on my stage. I'll start with myself.

I was born in Germany where my Dad was serving in the U.S. Air Force. We returned to the States when I was almost three. My Dad was stationed in San Angelo, TX for the next 16 years. Because of his long-term assignment, I didn't grow up like most military kids. I lived in the same town and went to the same schools for most of my life. My parents had two boys and two girls after me.

My parents took me to an Independent Baptist church where I was saved when I was five. When I was almost 9, my mother suffered the first of a series of mental breakdowns. My parents dropped out of church but my little brothers and sisters and I rode the bus.

My parents had no standards for us at all, but I had many for myself. I wanted to please God with my life. I didn't date through high school and I paid my own tuition to Christian school my Junior and Senior year.

After I graduated, I moved to the Dallas area when I was 19 to work for Accelerated Christian Education. At the church I attended I met a young man who had just surrendered to the ministry the week before I met him. We were friends for eight months and then he asked me out. We dated 19 times in 19 days and he proposed. (I do not suggest this time frame for my children.) We were engaged for nine months and married on June 5, 1981.

We wanted six children—five boys and one girl. God had other plans. I have endometriosis and have suffered 10 miscarriages. We adopted a new-born girl in 1985. Wendy was 17-hours old the first time I held her. When I introduce her, I will share some of the miracles surrounding her adoption.

When it became apparent that we would not bear biological children we looked for more children to adopt. In 1996, Jessica, Jesse, and Marcy became part of our family. They were a sibling adoption and were 10, 11, and 12 when we took them. In 2000, Amanda and Peggy became part of our family. They were 13 and 9 at the time.

I homeschooled Wendy all the way through graduation. The other children I homeschooled or sent to Christian school at various times. Currently, all but Peggy have graduated and I am homeschooling her.

Wendy was married in 2003 and gave us the gift of a beautiful grandson, Elisha.

I don't know if this tells all about me, but it's a start.

I want a horse.

Horses don't throw fanbelts. Horses don't need transmission fluid or coolant. Horses don't need new radiators. Yea, I want a horse.

Of course, horses leave messes. A horse makes a 180-mile trip a month-long adventure instead of a day trip. Horses bite. I fell off a horse once.

I've never fallen off my car.

I guess technology is progress and I like my van.

Wendy took my van to Kansas City because her car is in the shop getting a new radiator. Today, as Wendy was leaving Wal-Mart, the fan belt popped off. Some little part has to be replaced. Thankfully, my sister knows how to do that and it's not an expensive part.

I do thank God that it came off in the Wal-Mart parking lot and not on I-80 somewhere in the middle of Iowa when she was alone with a 2.5 year old.

Someday I may own a horse, but I guess cars and vans are good. I know God is good.

Sick

There is nothing more annoying to me than to go to the doctor, have him confirm what I thought was wrong and send me home to "get plenty of rest and drink plenty of fluids." And I paid how much for that advice?

However, the past few days, I've turned the question over and over in my mind—"Should I go to the doctor now or wait it out?" I've had a fever off and on since Saturday. Since Sunday, its been pretty much on rather than off. Last night I was miserable. I kept waiting and trying to listen to my body and decide. I have fibromyalgia and I thought it might be that, but I've decided I have an infection somewhere in my abdomen. Lots of green tea, some immune boosters and good ol' ibuprofen for the pain and I think I'm going to live.

I'm glad I waited. I'm not mad at the doctor and my checkbook thanks me.

My house is vibrating!

The construction crew putting the new storm drains in before they build the new road, is right in front of my house this morning. They have this giant truck that pats the dirt down. As that machine does its work, my whole house vibrates. It's really funny. I was looking around and thinking maybe they would shake all the dirt and dust down to the floor and then all I'll have to do is vaccuum and sweep!!!

On the other hand, can you believe Marcy is downstairs sleeping through this?

Happy Father's Day

My husband is the best father I know. These are pictures of him with his girls, and one with Elisha. I couldn't find a picture of him with Jesse. I think those are in his office.

My heart broke this morning.

We have a little boy at our church who has been riding the van to church since he was 2. He is now 4 and is one our most faithful riders. During part of Children's Church he came in my room to play for a little bit. He took a toy bead necklace and tied his own hands behind his back and said, "I'm going to court. They're taking me to jail." I realized that he must have seen this enough that it was a game to play.

I was a bus kid. Church was the highlight of my week. At church, people weren't screaming at each other and the grown-ups acted like they cared about me. I learned that they acted that way because they loved Jesus and Jesus cared. Our churches needs to remain a place where children can feel save and find the love of Jesus.

Oops!

I woke up at 6:45 a.m. this morning to the sound of the huge backhoe in my frontyard. That was pleasant. I think I would have preferred to awaken to the sound of birds or a waterfall, but oh, well. The city is rebuilding our road. We don't have one right now. They tore it all out and they are putting in new storm drains and curbs and everything. When they got to the houses on our block they figured out they had to rerun our sewer lines because they aren't low enough. Thus, on Saturday morning before 7 a.m. the backhoe in my frontyard fired up.

We were going to get up at 7:30 anyway because we had to run Peggy to Chicago. She is going to church camp this coming week and today was the best time to take her. She is staying with friends over the weekend. Anyway, Mark went out and was talking to the workers about the sewer line when OOOPPS!! They tore up our water line. A geyser shot forth from the ground and the water in the house quit flowing. We were blessed in that we were going to be gone most of the day.

When we got home around 6 this evening, we had a brand-new water line and the backhoe is sitting idle for the remainder of the weekend.

I hope I can make it 8 days!

Wendy and Elisha made it safe and sound to Kansas City. I called tonight to tell Elisha goodnight and he was already asleep. I don't think I realized how much I expect him to just be underfoot. I found myself listening for the back door all afternoon. (He loves to sneak outside!) And now tonight I expected his little slobbery kiss before he goes "die-dight snuggle Mom!"

One day down, seven to go!

The Perfect Cast

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I had to meet with the Lord several times this morning. My daughter, Wendy, and my grandson, Elisha, just left for a 350+ mile trip to visit family for a week. I was worried—okay, I am worried! My mother was the Queen of Worry and I used to tease her about it all the time. (Oh, I hate the moment when you realize you are turning into your mother!) However, in this case, Mom's weakness could be sin and I don't want to endulge my own sinful nature.

When Wendy was born and we held her the first time, we bowed our heads and gave her back to the Lord. Our Father knows so much better than we do. Even after being saved for more than 40 years, I have to daily remind myself that He cares for me and He will carry my cares.

I just need to cast.

Here, I want to take a picture! Smile!

A couple of things have happened lately that have me thinking about photographs. Father's Day is coming up and I made a scrapbook of my mother for my Dad. She hated having her picture taken and it shows. I was able to find only 15 or 16 pictures of Mom from her 56 years of living. It made me sad to realize that I had very few visual images Mom to share with my children and grandchildren.

The second thing that happened was trying to find a picture of myself to put on this blog. Guess what? There aren't very many picutres of me either. Now, I am not photogenic at all, but I've decided that it is selfishness and pride on my part not to allow my family to take pictures of me. I want my granchildren and even my great-grandchildren to be able to look into my eyes in a photograph and remember that I prayed for them before they were even born.

To blog or not to blog

I've tried to keep a journal but I'm awful at keeping up with it. Many of my friends "blog." This is an attempt to see if I can keep up with an "online journal."