For longer than I can remember now, I've travelled this road. Trusting there is a destination to be gained, I press on. The darkness sits upon my chest as I struggle to breathe. Is it the never ending valley? Did I choose my path poorly?
In the beginning there were many more travelers. Often we walked together. Always I could feel them. Some have abandoned the journey. Others have arrived at their destination. The path of many has led to the mountains.
I know the mountains are there. I know they can be reached. I know the sun, so elusive in this valley, shines there. I can hear those who have reach the mountains sometimes—praising, laughing, rejoicing—while I trod further in the night.
I struggle to understand. Is it my sin? The sin of parents? For the glory of God? I dare not quit and yet, I don't know how much longer I can continue.
Lord, make my path clear, even if it is only one step in the shadows. Walk beside me and calm my fears. Take the past nightmares from me and hold me now, in the present. Reassure me that someday I will see the mountain.
1 comment:
Terri,
I have walked in the darkness too. I understand the woefulness and the lack of hope, the constant despair.
This verse helped me Exodus 20:21 - "And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was."
Also II Samuel 22:[10] He bowed the heavens also, and came down; and darkness was under his feet.
[11] And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: and he was seen upon the wings of the wind.
[12] And he made darkness pavilions round about him, dark waters, and thick clouds of the skies.
The most important thing to remember is that GOD IS IN THE DARKNESS WITH YOU! If you are His child, you are in not in there ALONE!
And, even though is it painful, and it seems to last forever, and you would so long to see just a little bit of sun, as long as the Lord Jesus is IN THE DARKNESS WITH YOU, you have no reason to fear!
He can still see just fine, even in the dark. We have to be willing and submissive just to hang out with him there in the dark until He decides it's time to move on.
It is not fun. It is not pleasant. It is hard to smile and be friendly to those who are walking around oblivious to our pain.
But God is either GOD, or He isn't! If we believe He is, then we have to trust HIM...even in the dark.
I am challenging myself, and so I challenge you too, let's start counting our blessings in the dark. What are the blessings of darkness?
I am excited to see where that leads us. I will be praying for you this week, dear sister!
Alesha
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