Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
God is moving
And sometimes we don't know how He is moving, but we know he is in control. My hero was laid off from his secular job today — the one God provided to help us pay the bills. We are certain that God will continue to provide but pray for us as we seek His guidance.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Misunderstood
Have you ever seen those cartoons that go something like "What she said" vs. "What he heard"? I think it's often way too true to even be funny. Many times it's not even the misunderstandings between men and women either. It can be between sisters, brothers, friends, parents and children or children and parents.
I've read and re-read the stack of letters that my brother gave me that my parents wrote back and forth in the months leading up to their wedding and the months afterward while Daddy was in Germany, Mom was in Missouri, and I grew in her womb. In that same stack were a few letters written by friends to my mother when she was as young as twelve. Those letters gave me a whole new perspective on the woman I called Mom. I saw her as a teenage girl, as a young woman in love, and as a first-time mother picking out names. I wasn't there to watch it happen but I can visit her through those letters.
Now as a mother of grown children, I'm afraid they don't know me. Especially since most of them didn't know me until they were young pre-teens or even teens. When I speak, they hear me without the filter of unspoken trust that grows between parent and child before the child can even talk. I don't really know how to make myself clear without that filter, either. I love each and every one of them unconditionally. I'm not always in agreement with their actions; occasionally I think they are downright wrong! (Imagine that — a parent who thinks the kid is wrong....) But my love never waivers.
An Adoption Poem
Not flesh of my flesh,
Or bone of my bone,
But miraculously my own.
Never forget …
Not even for a minute …
You weren't born under my heart
But in it.
I hope they hear that.
I've read and re-read the stack of letters that my brother gave me that my parents wrote back and forth in the months leading up to their wedding and the months afterward while Daddy was in Germany, Mom was in Missouri, and I grew in her womb. In that same stack were a few letters written by friends to my mother when she was as young as twelve. Those letters gave me a whole new perspective on the woman I called Mom. I saw her as a teenage girl, as a young woman in love, and as a first-time mother picking out names. I wasn't there to watch it happen but I can visit her through those letters.
Now as a mother of grown children, I'm afraid they don't know me. Especially since most of them didn't know me until they were young pre-teens or even teens. When I speak, they hear me without the filter of unspoken trust that grows between parent and child before the child can even talk. I don't really know how to make myself clear without that filter, either. I love each and every one of them unconditionally. I'm not always in agreement with their actions; occasionally I think they are downright wrong! (Imagine that — a parent who thinks the kid is wrong....) But my love never waivers.
An Adoption Poem
Not flesh of my flesh,
Or bone of my bone,
But miraculously my own.
Never forget …
Not even for a minute …
You weren't born under my heart
But in it.
I hope they hear that.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I want to win!
The Wall
A long time ago, I had a Lhasa Apso named Pookie. She was a funny dog. She loved to go on walks. Short walks. When she was done, she was done. We would be walking along and she would decide the walk had been long enough and she would just lie down. She wouldn't move. We would pull on the leash and drag her and she wouldn't budge. We called the scenario, "taking Pookie for a drag." No matter how long we waited, she was done. Finally, we would pick her up and carry her and she would perk right up and look around and be all happy.
I think my body pulled a Pookie this week. Age is a funny thing for me. I know I am 47. I know I am not 20 anymore, but I don't feel 47. (Don't ask me what 47 feels like, I have no clue.) I just know that I expect to be able to do the same things I did when I was 20. Sometimes, I can't. This working and going to school full-time is a lot to expect out of a 47-year-old body, especially one that was so very sick a couple of years ago.
Don't worry, I'm fine, but I guess I need more than 5 or 6 hours sleep a night. This week, every time I try to read or do my assignments, I fall asleep. So last night, I went to bed early and this morning I'm going slow. If I pace myself, I'll finish this semester just fine.
In the meantime, I hit the wall. Ouch.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Do you see him?
No, not my Hero, silly! (Although, he is really good lookin' isn't he?)
The people who live behind us had this tree removed. We were looking at how big a tree it was. This is one side of the double trunk and it isn't even the biggest diameter of that half.
My Hero and I were looking at it, and being a woman with a camera, of course I took a picture. Do you see what happened?
Look closely at the world's smallest cat sitting on the tree trunk.
No, it's not really the world's smallest cat. It's just a normal neighbor's cat sitting in the yard in the background, but it sure looks like the world's smallest cat.
The people who live behind us had this tree removed. We were looking at how big a tree it was. This is one side of the double trunk and it isn't even the biggest diameter of that half.
My Hero and I were looking at it, and being a woman with a camera, of course I took a picture. Do you see what happened?
Look closely at the world's smallest cat sitting on the tree trunk.
No, it's not really the world's smallest cat. It's just a normal neighbor's cat sitting in the yard in the background, but it sure looks like the world's smallest cat.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Where Have I Been?
It is the start of week 8 of my final semester!!!! Only 8 weeks to go.....
Then maybe I can breath and blog.
In the meantime, I'm reading Early American literature, European literature looking for Greek and Biblical motifs, and writing technical documents. And those things haven't translated here.
I get up, play taxi, come home stick my nose in the books and the computer, go to work, come home stick my nose in the books and the computer, go to bed, get up, and do it all again.
December won't come soon enough.
Then maybe I can breath and blog.
In the meantime, I'm reading Early American literature, European literature looking for Greek and Biblical motifs, and writing technical documents. And those things haven't translated here.
I get up, play taxi, come home stick my nose in the books and the computer, go to work, come home stick my nose in the books and the computer, go to bed, get up, and do it all again.
December won't come soon enough.
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