Wednesday, June 1, 2011

When you least expect it

Four years ago, I was frustrated because I wasn't bouncing back from surgery as quickly as I would like. My doctor sat me down and told me I should've died and any progress I made was miraculous.

I'm a survivor. 

I grew up in a dysfunctional home. (That could be considered an understatement.) Mom was in and out of the mental ward at the hospital so much that all the staff knew me well. I would get off the elevator and a nurse would ask me how my big math test went. I would find Mom's room and she would ask me my name.

I'm a survivor.

Usually, I don't even think about those things. Occasionally, the past smacks me in the face.

We had a man live with us for awhile. Mom had met him at the mental hospital and he didn't have a place to stay so he moved in with us. I'll call him "Crazy Hal." He slept with his eyes open. That alone will creep a 10-year-old out. The Army had given him a mental health discharge after an incident in Vietnam. Although I never felt particularly in danger, I kept my distance. 

This week, I had dealings with a man that sent waves of "Crazy Hal" sweeping through me. All at once, the fears and insecurities of my younger self gripped my heart. I wasn't in danger at all, but the situation was too familiar. I had to remove myself  and calm down. The Lord and I had a talk and I resumed my business.

I've heard it said that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I don't agree. Those things that didn't kill me, made me more dependent on my Jesus. 

I'm a survivor—because Jesus is my strength.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10


Alesha said...

Beautiful! And so well said. Thanks for sharing!

fancystitching said...

It is so good to see you posting again... I've missed you! And once again, you penned great words of encouragement. Thanks for so openly sharing your pain, and then the difference Jesus has made in your life.


Barbara said...

Wonderful truths here, God bless you dear friend, I am praying for you and thank you for sharing your heart to be a testimony for Christ.
Lots of Hugs, Barbara

*Barbie said...

amen...very beautifully written!! and praise the Lord that He IS our strength!!